I have spent more than enough time coming on here making all kinda noise about people that mean me no good. So I will do what I should have done a long time ago. I will see like I am blind and hear like I am deaf. Life is too precious to waste it on things and people that don’t matter.
So I am making a resolution to remove ALL the drama in my life. I started with  deleting my hi5 profile. That was the last root to all of the drama that I had. So now that it is gone, I think that I will be able to resist temptation a lot more.
In my most bored days, when I am aching to cause problems, I will refrain. I know that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, so I have nothing to worry about.
I told my moms that I can acknowledge all of my personality flaws and I believe that my newfound drama queen-like behaviour is indeed a flaw. So I am resting down the crown and I will try to be my old humble self. I call myself a lady, so I think that I should act like one.
From this day on, I ban all negative forms of drama from my life. I am bigger and better than that. So I should start acting like it.

Suddenly Clairvoyant

I am NOT Ms.Cleo and I DON’T know when your day is not going well. So instead of freaking out on me and making vile threats, JUST tell me.
In the future I will try to be more sensitive and take you more seriously. I won’t block and delete you till your next bitch-like episode!

Bah Humbug!!

Christmas is coming…Bah Humbug!!
I am not a Scrooge, but I will be playing one this Christmas, due to the fact that I will be to broke to buy Christmas gifts..It’s not that I don’t love everyone, but the budget is REALLY tight.. Hope you guys won’t change your mind about buying me something for Christmas though..
Much Love!!

I’m Still In Love With You

Today, did more hair..Blah Blah Blah.
Interesting part, I had a few conversations with male friends that opened up my eyes to my silly singleness.
So I get home from my job at about 4:30, checked the caller ID and informed my darling older bro that I was going to take a nap and under NO circumstances was I to be waken up for ANY phone call. I mean I DID go to bed at 4:00 that morning..
So now I am half asleep my brother disappears, so the phone is ringing continuously, and being unanswered. ANNOYING. I am one of those people that find it REALLY hard to ignore a ringing phone. So I drag myself outta bed to turn the phone’s ringer off (unsuccessfully I might add, seriously what kind of phone doesn’t allow u to turn off the ringer?) So I saw a pleasantly, unexpected number in the Caller ID. Wow that was one of the last people that I expected to call me. But nevertheless, I contain my excitement and drag myself of to bed yet again.
Fast forward a few hours after I get up. I am online and none other than my surprise caller IMs me. Anyway the conversation quickly moves to the state of affairs of our 3 year relationship that ended 2 years ago. Well he has himself another girlfriend now, much to my annoyance.
I am actually quite broken hearted about it, if the truth MUST be known.
So halfway through the conversation he tells me that he is going to send me an invitation to his wedding. Well I let him know that I would indeed shoot him if he did anything of the sort. Not to kill him mind you, just somewhere near the little toe region.
Now I am here wondering if it is just because he is seeing someone else that I have even regained interest in him. Truth be told I didn’t want to be with him when he was single, but now that he isn’t, things have changed. But he is after all my first love, so who is this chick who just thinks she can claim my territory??
This, indeed, is a conundrum!!

A day in the life of a Sunday

My day was rather interesting. We all went to church (My moms, bro and sis-in-law). It was cool. My father, whom I sit next to every service, was making me laugh the whole time. He is REALLY good at making fun of people..In a non-malicious type of way of course..
I had to work again today. Well I have to make the rounds seeing as how my moms forbade me to do hair in her house ever again. I mean yeah, it DOES get every where, but getting up in the day and actually going OUT of the house to work is SO inconvenient(hmm that doesn’t look like it’s spelled correctly).
Anyways, so I have to take a bus to get down town, where my client and I  had previously agreed upon as the meeting place earlier that day. Unfortunately for me this is a Sunday and the buses have a HIGHLY irregular schedule and I have to wait on the bus stop for about 45 mins.
FINALLY a bus comes along, and he must have left something at home on the stove, cause he was definitely in a rush to get to his destination. He did a feat unimaginable. He flew over (well not over, but around) ten vehicles in one bound. It was amazing! I prayed for my life and was impressed at his skillful manuevering of the automobile simultaneously. 
So we get miraculously get downtown sans broken limbs, but as I mentioned earlier the irregularities of the Sunday bus schedule, a mob just rushed the bus, eager to fill the 16 available seats. I nearly get crushed in the ensuing choas.. Luckily, I again escaped my second near death  experience for the day (okay maybe I am being just a smidge overly dramatic).
I am now downtown, all I need now is to call my client to come and get me. Simple right? But NO…My cell is crap and to my chagrin all  of the pay phones  that I knew were downtown were broken!! Wow!! Ok so now I am stuck downtown on a Sunday without a phone to call anyone.
Then God sent me an angel in the form of some fat dude with a cell whose friend was trying to hit on me and determine the origin of my"accent". Well the fat dude had no minutes but his cell could text so HALLELUJAH! I was going to be rescued!
So about 45 mins later after I discovered a pay phone and actually got my client to find my current location, I was on my way to begin the days work. I was scheduled to start at 2:00 and it was almost 4:00 when I DID start, but hey all in a days work right?
Plus not to appear cocky or anything I did an EXCELLENT job on her head..Even if it did take over 7 hours!! Now I am trying desperately to fit my own head into my crammed schedule…:) I am SO getting blonde braids..Oh my goodness…It’s 4:00 in the morning and I have a 9:00 appointment!!!


Why is it that when someone dies we all wish that we were closer to them or that we knew them better or spent more time with them?? I honestly think that is WAY too hard to do, when someone that you share just about all of your memories with dies doesn’t that just make life all the more difficult to live without them??
I know I may seem wierd or selfish or just messed up for me to say this, but right now, I wish that I had never met Merril, (although God knows that my life has been enrichened by the experience). This is just tOo hard. When will the tears cease!!! When will I stop thinking about him EVERYDAY!! Every spare thought I get seems to be of him. How do you find the strength to move on with life?? Why am I taking this SO hard?? Yeah this too shall pass..But WHEN???…That’s all I want to know…WHEN??!! Sometimes life just seems so hopeless cause you know that one day every one that u love will just die and leave you to accept it and somehow move on.
God I am just looking to you for strength and courage to wake up every morning and not know what will face me that day. You said that you won’t put more on us than we can bear, I can bear no more…PLEASE give me the strength to deal with this and the inevitability of other deaths that I will encounter in my life. You know best Lord, I am trying so hard to accept that,but I must admit that I am struggling with this one. If it is at all possible that I can have just one more minute, a second just to see him one more time..Just once, for only a little while. Please just for a second, and I promise that I won’t ask for n e thing else as long as I live..If only for a second……Father can u hear me??

I love you guys

I got this email but it sums up what I have been feeling since the passing of my dear Friend, Merril  McClean Dorsett Jr. I didn’t write it myself but I feel it anyway.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn’t? or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart…if you don’t, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn’t. You can’t tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own….when you least suspect it, or even when you don’t want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much…for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid… afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don’t be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

 What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don’t care anymore).What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn’t have them? What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them? People live, but people die. And I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow , you would be in my heart!!! Would I be in yours? You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don’t talk that often the next, and don’t want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life, I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you.  Let old friends know you haven’t forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend,
Someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this message and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and .. always will.. I LOVE YOU!!!!