Happy Mother’s Day

I wanna wish Happy Mother’s Day to the women that have helped shape me into the phenomenal woman that I am. The ones who were always there to loan support, a listening ear. Thanks for the countless hours of advice and prayers. I love you all more than you can ever know. 

First I wanna shout out my mom, the one that birthed me, Regoria Alice Rigby.  I love you Dar. You rock. 

Next, I wanna say Happy Mother’s Day to my sister who helped to raise me. Dominique “Kimmie” “Domi” Rigby. I appreciate you. 

And last but not least I wanna say Happy Mother’s Day to my mother in law Cynthia Cooper. She took me in and treated me as her own and for that I will always be grateful. 


World Autism Awareness

This amazing little person is my nephew Isreal

Yesterday was World Autism Awareness Day and in support of my nephew Isreal, and to shed light on this condition friends and family wore blue.

Isreal is four years old and he was diagnosed a year ago this week. I must admit that before this disorder affected my family, I did not know that much about it. There are a lot of myths about people living with autism such as they are incapable of learning or that they are slow, but in fact they can and often are very brilliant.

My four year old nephew is reading well above his age level, and in fact one of his favorite books is “The Cat in the Hat” that I bought him for Christmas.

My sister in law Maxcia (former pre-school teacher turned banker) is doing an amazing job with him. She is also great at spreading Autism Awareness where people have hardly any knowledge of what it is.

I have to share a post from my brother from his Facebook page :”God gave Isreal to us just the way he is because he knew he could trust us with him( all of us). We will keep working with him until all the pieces fit.”

Autism affects 1 in 88 children and 1 in 54 boys. It is important to know the signs and symptoms of autism so that your child can have a normal life.

So until all the pieces fit, we will light it up blue for our son, brother, cousin, grandson, nephew and friend. We light it up blue to speak out for all those living with autism!

For more information on Autism visit AutismSpeaks.org

Isreal with his mom, Maxcia, his older brother Judah and his big sister Gabrielle



My Brother’s Response to my Post “Women Unable to Raise Women?”

by Almando Rigby

My moms and her boys

This is in response to my sister’s blog ( xoxox)

Tyler Durden: My dad never went to college, so it was real important that I go.

Narrator: Sounds familiar.

Tyler Durden: So I graduate, I call him up long distance, I say “Dad, now what?” He says, “Get a job.”

Narrator: Same here.

Tyler Durden: Now I’m 25, make my yearly call again. I say Dad, “Now what?” He says, “I don’t know, get married.”

Narrator: I can’t get married; I’m a 30 year old boy.

Tyler Durden: We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

A great scene from a good movie “Fight Club” speaks to the dubious position of most men.

“Between man and man there is always an insuperable gulf. They can never quite grasp each other’s hands; and therefore man never derives any intimate help, any heart sustenance, from his brother man, but from women-his mother, his sister, his wife.”

This quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne is one that most men in my generation (if they are honest) can relate to and sum up by saying Amen. Most men in my generation lack a real vital example of what a man should be, how he should act and what is expected of him. While divorce can be blamed in some cases the vast majority of us were from single parent homes. We are the spurious, unwanted, illegitimate, unplanned collateral damage of a booty-call gone wrong. Victims of a hush-hush culture where “DBD” (Dead Beat Dads) evade their responsibilities and are constantly on the run as if they are fugitives from the law.

Like Elliot Ness DBD seemed untouchable, and  are certainly unreachable by his children, he lied to his wife (but she knew) lied to his

My mother and her children

children and even lied to himself. The family, education and religion are three pillars of the society, but are all dominated by women. The first time I had a male teacher I was in high school, and in my six years in high school I only had 5 male teachers. Church is dominated by women, and now we are seeing more and more women becoming pastors, and religious leaders. It was Tupac that said “we all can from a woman, got our names from a woman, and our game from a woman”, we are a generation of men raised by women. I contend that it not the women that are unable to raise women, but men that have abandoned ship and like the captain of the “Costa Concordia” left the woman and children on board to perish slowly.  Like the cowardly lion men need to follow the yellow brick road to the emerald city, in search of Oz to ask for some courage. (it was a woman that they were following by the way)

For ages women have been doing hero’s work, from Esther in the bible, to Harriet Tubman to Rosa Parks, Nanny of the Maroons and many mothers today including my mother and grandmother. Men have stood on the shoulders of women forever, in fact it was man that could not live without woman and this is why God made her. So little sister your mother didn’t always tell you how proud she was of you for how smart you are because you are a woman. Yes, smart and strong and able to take pain that would kill a man in a minute, you can cook and clean and wash and iron, and read a book, and help with home work, and do your own home work all at once with just two hands.

My mother and her girls

So the fact that they were grooming you to be a wife, wasn’t for you boo, it was because without woman, men would be nothing. You were being groomed to be a wife so that you can help to groom the next generation, because until the men return from the emerald city with courage in heart, you will be the mothers of the next generation of men that are raised by women.

A simpler time

View my original post here.

Women Unable to Raise Women?

I was born into a family that is made up primarily of women. I have 6 aunts and 3 uncles and the vast majority of their children (my cousins) have also been female. However, I have an issue with how they raise their girls. It is all about deference to men and finding a husband instead of being independent and strong women. Even when we were younger we had different set of standards for the boys, than we did for the girls. It went beyond the normal habit of allowing the boys to stay out later or to begin dating earlier. The boys were sometimes forbidden to clean certain parts of the house-the bathroom- even though, arguably they caused the most dirt and the most smells.

My brothers were also allowed to stop doing dishes at a certain age under the false pretense that they were granted this honor because they had begun working, because neither my sister nor I was granted this same privilege. It all had to do with a woman’s place in the home as a house keeper and a homemaker why we were forced to keep cleaning long after the age when my brothers were allowed to stop. I was very strong willed and I did not buy into this pervasive way of thought and I had a strong opposition along the way. I would often have one family member or the other tell me “A lazy woman is a nasty woman” because of my dislike for housework. Or they would tell me “You ain gin never find a husband”, because at that time I didn’t like cooking.

I was never once told that I would be just okay without a man, but instead I think my whole upbringing was centered around making me a good wife and a good mother. Now, those lessons were all fine and dandy if that had been what I wanted, but the lessons never changed when I voiced my opposition to being a housewife or a mother. Instead, my lack in this area was emphasized, whilst I feel like my academic achievements were downplayed. Now I won’t say that my parents were not proud of me, I will just say that they did it more in silence, and were far more verbal of my lack and intense disinterest in housekeeping.

I think now, a few of them are moving away from wanting to make wives and instead are trying to make women; strong, beautiful, educated, self-sufficient women who are able to have goals past her kitchen and are able to have desires that are worldwide. Now I beckon the rest of you to please get out of the mindset of a man or a husband making it all better. Because sometimes, they just make your life miserable!

Awww Snip!

We are going to get the puppy neutered tomorrow so we are keeping him inside  so that he doesn’t get too dirty. About an hour ago he stopped being excited about it.
I let him out to handle his business and, well, he didn’t really come back… After about an hour of begging and coaxing, getting annoyed and being afraid of the strange creatures of the night that were obviously waiting to pounce on me if I got close enough, I finally lured him in with some bread.

You would think that after being let out for that long that it would be safe right? NOPE! I just walked into a HUGE puddle of pee on my floor. Bare footed. 0_O. So there I am cussing at him and hopping around on one foot and he is looking up at me with a ‘what did I do’ expression on his face.

Now the cat is in hiding and Xavier has totally devoured all of her food. I will ensure to keep him outta her litter box…

And the best part is, we get to keep him inside for a few days AFTER he gets his balls cut off. And Eric is working nights. So just me and the dog. Happy Happy Joy Joy! You know what, balls aren’t so bad are they? They are there to be support for the penis, they are all round and ball-like. How bad can they be? I say he should keep them. And stay outside. Where he obviously wants to be!

No Babies!

To anyone that knows me, it is no secret that I don’t want children. Ever. But since I’ve been married there has been a tenfold increase in the pressure to have babies.

“When you gin pop a baby now?”

“You don’t think you should give your husband at least ONE?”

“Your baby would look so cute!”

Never! No. I don’t care. Stop it already!! I don’t want to! And all of you people out there telling that I should really won’t make me change my mind and all of a sudden become a breeder.

If  only for the sheer will of others to impregnate me, I would’ve been the mother of ten by now!

I mean, who pressures a person to have a child? This is a lifetime decision, the life of a whole human. I won’t really be able to change my mind after it is here now will I? There is not a bone in my body that feels maternal, or cares to throw caution to the wind and see if the ‘maternal instinct” will show up after the baby comes. I really could care less.

In the argument of “why-Aja-and-Eric-should-make-babies” people often say, “Now what if your parents had that attitude before you were born?” Why would I care? How would I have been able to care?  That is hardly a smart point to make. Let it go. That was my mother’s choice… She also decided to give birth to my sister, which was hardly an inspired idea!

Besides the whole thought of actually CARRYING a child crawls my flesh. I am not into parasites feeding off me, stealing my nutrients and making me fat simultaneously. Miracle of life my foot! And the way that they come out… REALLY? The VAGINA? And people say God doesn’t have a sense of humor! Yet, this is somehow considered beautiful to have your female essence brutalized by a 6lb midget that cries and poops and makes u spend countless amounts of money on them. GO FIGURE!

And as for the people that think that “I am too young to make this decision” or “I will change my mind eventually” I got married already which in and of itself has changed the course of my life. I think I am qualified enough to know what I do and do not want. Even if I weren’t, mind your own business!

NO THANK YOU! I will pass.. Now all of you leave me alone… Have billions of babies if you think you need to have them… As for me and my household we shall get many dogs…