Lent? Already?

Sooo um Lent huh? Why does this sneak up on me EVERY year. Why is this not shouted from the mountains “YOU WILL HAVE TO STOP DOING FUN THINGS!” I am not ready! I really wasn’t ready yet.

Sigh for this year I will again be giving up fried food. I will also be giving Facebook (even though I can’t get on to MY account I do have access to others) and I will also be giving up cussing. 1.5 hours down forever more to go!

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Frito Lay Potato Chips are the Fat Inducing Devils!

I bought this mega bag of Frito Lay potato chips on Saturday against my better judgement. I of course thought that I would be able to control myself and I would be able to just have one bag of chips every now and then over the course of the month.

Boy was I wrong!!

Frito Lay Fat Inducers

Its only Wednesday and I have nearly demolished the entire bag of 22 of those delicious bags of fried crunchy potato goodness. How was I to know that it was impossible to eat just one of those teeny tiny bags?? Its like JUST when you are getting into just how good they are you start hitting the bottom of the bag! And then you start to panic cause you guys were just bonding, this relationship can’t be over yet!! Then all of a sudden, just as your breath started catching in your throat in a full scale freak out, you remember the five other chips in the bag in the same flavor! You relax cause you know that this is not the end after all… You guys can start again, start anew!

Then before you realize what you are doing, you look over to see five empty chip bags and immediately the shame starts. Ahh hell… There goes the purpose of that salad you ate today. You know how you were gonna start to eat healthy and only eat those oh so delicious potato chips once a week on Saturdays?

So you kick the empty bags under the bed and you start to feel better. And then the craving starts again. I mean you are already on your way to one more belly roll anyways, so what’s the harm in eating another one?? May as well make sure that this belly roll is all that it can be. There is no sense in going half assed. So you lick you cheese encrusted fingers in satisfaction…

All I know is, I blame Pretty Boy for letting me buy them. He knows better!

PS OHHHHHHHHHHMIGOD! WHO KNEW THAT SPICY CHEETOS WOULD TASTE THAT GOOD!

 

I Feel Skinny! Oh So Skinny!

I have lost about 5 lbs already! YAY ME! I actually bought a bathroom scale so I am not estimating this weight loss according to the way my clothes fit as I was doing it before… This is actually legitimate.

Sadly, the only place I have actually SEEN any weight loss difference is on the scale… And late at night as I look in the mirror with the lights off… All those shadows make me appear VERY thin… I do this often.

Another thing to note about being a this low carb diet of mine is that I get incredibly tired. So instead of doing exercise, I find myself sleeping. A LOT! So unfortunately this week I have clocked about 40 mins of exercise time with my Turbo Jam since it is much easier than the Insanity. I also found myself getting very tired and winded during the exercises. When I could have gone longer before getting winded I now find myself struggling to catch my breath half way through the video. And I mean like a grossly obese asthmatic, kinda outta breath. I found myself watching way more than I was doing. I felt like I cheated myself out of the workout. Dieting kinda sucks for my intensive workout plans. I’ll have to look for ways to rectify this. I need to get my workouts in!

But overall I feel awesome that I have seen SOME results. All my weight loss plans have set my weight loss goal at 1-2 lbs a week, which I find a bit frustrating since my wedding will be before then. Well on the upside, I am thinking that it won’t be so bad if I am not super skinny by June so that I won’t have to spend an arm and a leg on alterations!

Wait, So I’ve got to Document EVERYTHING That I Eat?

Wah!!! Dieting SUCKS!!! I mean whose idea was this “losing weight” thing anyway. The way I see it there are way more of us that are overweight, so why should we have to conform! How about we force a burger down the throat of those emaciated models that make us stop eating burgers. And if we don’t stop eating them, we have to document it somewhere so that it is always there to haunt us.

I am forced to write down literally everything that crosses my lips. Oh, you had HOW MANY pieces of chocolate? What! An ENTIRE tablespoon of cheese on your sandwich? Exactly HOW many glasses of juice did you say had?

Sigh. It’s exhausting!!! Especially when I’m not eating out. I mean it’s one thing for my diet tracker to tell me how many calories are in that Baja Salad from Wendy’s, but how is it to know what nutritional value is found in Pretty Boy’s World Famous Honey Ham Chunks?

Honestly it makes me want to eat out more. It’s just so much more simple to keep count then. It just really sucks that the count is just so very high.

Oh, and all the eating. Three meals a day with lots of snacking in between. My life is now literally revolving around food. Thinking constantly about the next meal, how to prepare it. How many carbs and sodium and fat does it have.

And don’t get me started on the exercise. You need to do cardio, then you need to do some weight training and then you’ve got to work on the legs and back and abs ALL separately. I must let you guys know that “fat” had none of these hang ups. If you ask me “skinny” is a diva. When I put on weight I did not have chocolate that would head to my thighs, or French fries that would head to that little lower section of my stomach that is SO unnecessarily hard to get rid of. It just did as it would.

I didn’t even notice til the day I could no longer fit into my roomy jeans… Oh, and who ever told men not to let their wives know when she’s put on tons of weight. If I ask you if you think I’m getting fat, I would really appreciate if you’re straight up with me. It’s a very good thing that I have a wardrobe filled with clothing that are too small to let me know, Pretty Boy has hardly been forthcoming in that regard *eye roll*.

Anyways, I’ve complained too long. But I’m hungry, I’m in pain (I’ve been working out daily and It. Hurts. EVERYWHERE!) So I’m kinda cranky. But when I find “skinny” I’m going to kick his ass for making me work this hard when “fat” is so willing to be my friend for life!

As I Crash and Burn

I didn’t get to post for the last few days cause I fell asleep so very early and didn’t wake up until after 12… I have no idea why I was so tired. But even so I couldn’t even stay sleep past twelve. Ii would get up and pretty much be awake the rest of the night. That totally blows. My body refuses to let me go to sleep early and stay asleep.

In other news, the end of Lent is so near that I can nearly taste the egg rolls! *Does the running man*…

I’m still in negotiation with Pretty Boy about just how much fried food I’ll be able to get on those two days following Lent. I’ll only get about two “cheat days” because I’ve still got pre-wedding weight to lose. He’s holding off on the fried chicken from Pepperpot but I’m sure I’ll be able to talk him down…

So the menu for the weekend is Chinese Food (mmmmm Egg Rolls), Conch Fritters ( the good kind from West End) and fried chicken from Pepperpot or Lucky’s! Excitement!!!!

I’m so very hungry!!!

OMG!! I’m flipping starving! I would like to write some gem of a blog entry but, but I’m STARVING! Ya know when ya hungry ya does imagine all kind of delicious, delectable, dish that you know you can’t make in the fifteen minutes before you succumb to the ravages of malnutrition. Or, you would look at things that you wouldn’t even normally eat and think about how good it would be if you put some ketchup on it…

Right now I’m thinking bout some roast beef, and ox tail and those egg rolls that I’ll be having rye SECOND that this extra long Lent is over.

But I have often found myself eating bananas with grimace on my face trying to force the nasty things down just so that I won’t pass out when I waiting for my roast beef to done…

Anyways, Pretty Boy just made us some eggs, pancakes and sausage links. So I going eat fore I dead!!

They Shoot Fat People, Don’t They?

About two weeks ago in preparation for my kick ass birthday celebration, I dragged Pretty Boy through Freeport to find some awesome kick ass outfit that would match the occasion… Well apparently anything that remotely caught my fancy was too small, too tight, or looked like something that resembles that dress that I often wear to funerals.

Well, I was inspired, I could not only find clothing that fit but also clothing that matches my style, on the Internet! After some quick talking, I’d found the perfect outfit and had arranged to have it shipped to me in time for this aforementioned “kickass birthday celebration”. The celebration is tomorrow, the outfit won’t get here until Monday.

Now, normally this would only be a slight hiccup and I would be able to toss together something totally killer from my own closet. Well, that was before my ass got too big to fit into nearly anything in there. And per chance I do manage to force my size L body into that size XS shirt, it bunches and bulges and cuts off circulation to those very important body parts…

Now I’m on this downward spiral wondering if I should even bother with the celebration at all since I’ve NOTHING to wear. Well, I guess it’ll be totally okay if I repeat an outfit right? So wat if I wore it last week, and the week before that, I really like this dress!

I’m also having a very hard time even wanting to buy clothing in larger sizes. So what if I have a closet of clothing that I can no longer fit in? They’re my “thinspiration” and I know that some day, with diet and exercise I’ll fit into them again.

Sigh, now I don’t know whether to vent by NOT eating or by ordering a 3/4 pounder with bacon and cheese from Wendy’s.

PS. The next person that tells me I’m fat is gonna get it!