Sigh for this year I will again be giving up fried food. I will also be giving Facebook (even though I can’t get on to MY account I do have access to others) and I will also be giving up cussing. 1.5 hours down forever more to go!

Its been about an hour since I told Pretty Boy to change the password on my (and his) Facebook and to keep it away from me until the end of the current semester. What was I thinking? I am already getting antsy, I can’t focus, I getting all jittery, my heart is beating too fast. OMG am I having a HEART ATTACK??!! 0_O

I can’t stop thinking of the posts that I am missing, of all the status updates from people I have never spoken to in real life, all of the likes to my awesome comments. I am gonna be outta the loop! I won’t even find out when Whatserface breaks up with her boyfriend! Oh no! And Blee will win the poke war! How will I live with no pokes? And ticker! My beautiful, stalker-like ticker! How did I live without it I don’t know, but I have grown to love it so dearly. How else will I know what everyone that I have ever developed a friendship with is doing at any given second, of any given day when they are on Facebook?

I have been begging Pretty Boy for the last 20 mins to give me back my password. He says no. And something about promises. Blah, blah, blah. I don’t think I am liking him very much right now. *folds arms and pouts*

Now what am I supposed to do online? Do other websites even still exist? Is there life outside of Facebook? Dare I reactivate my MySpace page? Ohhhh, what about hi5? Aw, who the hell am I kidding? Life as I know it is OVER! OVER!!

This is in response to my sister’s blog ( xoxox)

Tyler Durden: My dad never went to college, so it was real important that I go.

Narrator: Sounds familiar.

Tyler Durden: So I graduate, I call him up long distance, I say “Dad, now what?” He says, “Get a job.”

Narrator: Same here.

Tyler Durden: Now I’m 25, make my yearly call again. I say Dad, “Now what?” He says, “I don’t know, get married.”

Narrator: I can’t get married; I’m a 30 year old boy.

Tyler Durden: We’re a generation of men raised by women. I’m wondering if another woman is really the answer we need.

A great scene from a good movie “Fight Club” speaks to the dubious position of most men.

“Between man and man there is always an insuperable gulf. They can never quite grasp each other’s hands; and therefore man never derives any intimate help, any heart sustenance, from his brother man, but from women-his mother, his sister, his wife.”

This quote by Nathaniel Hawthorne is one that most men in my generation (if they are honest) can relate to and sum up by saying Amen. Most men in my generation lack a real vital example of what a man should be, how he should act and what is expected of him. While divorce can be blamed in some cases the vast majority of us were from single parent homes. We are the spurious, unwanted, illegitimate, unplanned collateral damage of a booty-call gone wrong. Victims of a hush-hush culture where “DBD” (Dead Beat Dads) evade their responsibilities and are constantly on the run as if they are fugitives from the law.

Like Elliot Ness DBD seemed untouchable, and  are certainly unreachable by his children, he lied to his wife (but she knew) lied to his

children and even lied to himself. The family, education and religion are three pillars of the society, but are all dominated by women. The first time I had a male teacher I was in high school, and in my six years in high school I only had 5 male teachers. Church is dominated by women, and now we are seeing more and more women becoming pastors, and religious leaders. It was Tupac that said “we all can from a woman, got our names from a woman, and our game from a woman”, we are a generation of men raised by women. I contend that it not the women that are unable to raise women, but men that have abandoned ship and like the captain of the “Costa Concordia” left the woman and children on board to perish slowly.  Like the cowardly lion men need to follow the yellow brick road to the emerald city, in search of Oz to ask for some courage. (it was a woman that they were following by the way)

For ages women have been doing hero’s work, from Esther in the bible, to Harriet Tubman to Rosa Parks, Nanny of the Maroons and many mothers today including my mother and grandmother. Men have stood on the shoulders of women forever, in fact it was man that could not live without woman and this is why God made her. So little sister your mother didn’t always tell you how proud she was of you for how smart you are because you are a woman. Yes, smart and strong and able to take pain that would kill a man in a minute, you can cook and clean and wash and iron, and read a book, and help with home work, and do your own home work all at once with just two hands.

My mother and her girls

So the fact that they were grooming you to be a wife, wasn’t for you boo, it was because without woman, men would be nothing. You were being groomed to be a wife so that you can help to groom the next generation, because until the men return from the emerald city with courage in heart, you will be the mothers of the next generation of men that are raised by women.

A simpler time

View my original post here.

NY Giants Nail Art

NY Giants Nail Art

This design was inspired by http://theresakickass.tumblr.com/post/15894899525/lets-go-giants-taken-with-instagram

My brothers were also allowed to stop doing dishes at a certain age under the false pretense that they were granted this honor because they had begun working, because neither my sister nor I was granted this same privilege. It all had to do with a woman’s place in the home as a house keeper and a homemaker why we were forced to keep cleaning long after the age when my brothers were allowed to stop. I was very strong willed and I did not buy into this pervasive way of thought and I had a strong opposition along the way. I would often have one family member or the other tell me “A lazy woman is a nasty woman” because of my dislike for housework. Or they would tell me “You ain gin never find a husband”, because at that time I didn’t like cooking.

I was never once told that I would be just okay without a man, but instead I think my whole upbringing was centered around making me a good wife and a good mother. Now, those lessons were all fine and dandy if that had been what I wanted, but the lessons never changed when I voiced my opposition to being a housewife or a mother. Instead, my lack in this area was emphasized, whilst I feel like my academic achievements were downplayed. Now I won’t say that my parents were not proud of me, I will just say that they did it more in silence, and were far more verbal of my lack and intense disinterest in housekeeping.

I think now, a few of them are moving away from wanting to make wives and instead are trying to make women; strong, beautiful, educated, self-sufficient women who are able to have goals past her kitchen and are able to have desires that are worldwide. Now I beckon the rest of you to please get out of the mindset of a man or a husband making it all better. Because sometimes, they just make your life miserable!

I am, however, going to attempt this by starting off with George Orwell’s “1984″ and Joseph Heller’s “Catch 22″. I can find those easily enough on Kindle. I will keep a log of the books that I have gotten through along with my reviews.

Hahahahaha!

So here we are having a late night Yahoo! convo and he starts talking about how he doesn’t like peanut butter but it is a good source of protein so he eats it. Then he veers off and says:

“THAT WORD PROTEIN IS A NEXT ONE THEM RULE CONTRADICTIONS…”I BEFORE “E”EXCEPT AFTER C.” LYING MOTHER FCKERS”

Hahaha so I am dying! I gotta love him!

I feel like I am in suspended animation, just waiting on something to happen, something that will force me back into real life. Something that will impassion me. I feel all shy,and timid, and antisocial. Choosing to do most of my interaction with the human set from behind computer screens and cell phones rather than face to face. Waiting to reach out and be friendly, but finding it easier to remain silent and stoic, avoiding eye contact as if trying not to ignite the wrath of some wild animal.

At this late point I think I NEED to make a New Year’s resolution, I NEED to set some sort of everyday goal that will give an immediate reason to shake off this cloak of idleness that is so tightly wrapped around me. I am tired of just existing; I wanna LIVE!

If next semester you see me and I don’t say hi to you, or pass you like I have never seen you before in my life, I want to let you know why. You guys SUCK. You guys caused me nothing but stress, headaches and mediocrity. You are not my friends, my friends would have thought about MY GRADE, like I tried to think about yours. I hate you. Well not Lynden. Lynden is cool. But the rest of you? Please don’t talk to me. I want nothing to do with any of you ever again!

Ajay